Komrade Kabah: Read this amusing take on our Kabah article!

(THE PEOPLE’S CUBE) — In the beginning of the world, there was the Cube. Every Muslim will tell you that, and we are not making this up. They call it Kabah, which is Arabic for “the Cube.”

People from all corners of the earth gather to the Cube in Mecca for education and enlightenment. Only instead of rotating it like we do with the People’s Cube, they run in circles around it, like the unionized electricians of a certain non-Muslim ethnic minority who rotate the stepladder while changing the light bulb.

Since the rest of the Islamic narrative about the Cube’s origin is not in compliance with the Marxist theory of Historical Materialism, below is a korrekted version, developed by the scientists of the Karl Marx Treatment Center.

Adam, the first man to evolve from the ape, built the Cube as a symbol of equality, making sure that each side was equal to the next and painted with the same colorblind-friendly black pigment.

During the Great Flood the Cube sustained significant water damage. It was then further scrambled by Islamophobic non-unionized idolaters, but later unscrambled back by Abraham and Ishmael (the first Arab to evolve from the Jew™). Finally, Allah hired Mohammed to liberate the Cube from the unenlightened corporate rednecks and the white-collar Jews who inhabited Mecca.